So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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