Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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