You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize