well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
