I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
