he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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