Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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