Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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