her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
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So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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