Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
