Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
