6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
