I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
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