Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
there is puke in my bra ... again
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize