yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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