...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
