idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
