I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
