I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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