I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
