i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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