My room smells like vodka and shame
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
