Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
