Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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