I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
