Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he was CRYING into my vagina
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
