college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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