Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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