Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
