So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
