That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
