alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
