There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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