my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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