Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
