Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
