i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Damn victory sex feels great
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