Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
