If that was your dad, he is hot
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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