if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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