As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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