I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
