I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Randomize
