david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
