My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He passed out mid-signature
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
