This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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