I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
