Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
