So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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