11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
