i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
