I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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