what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
