i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
