Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
