You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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