the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
