I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
